lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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