I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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