now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
