please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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