Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
