you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
