Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
