Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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