shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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