wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
