she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
