My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't deserve a penis
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
