umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
