Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
