you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
