At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
