omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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