Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
