how can u be prego again
Please, let me fuck your mom
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
