It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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