just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
