someone get that fucking seahorse.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
