Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize