I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
