she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
