whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
