she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
