people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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