Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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