Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
