if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
