I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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