is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
