I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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