paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
