You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
