I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
