im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
