So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
