she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize