you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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