Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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