Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
