youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
