this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just pee around me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
