CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
