just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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