hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize