You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
