My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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