Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Someone came in the potted fern
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
