Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
