He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
