i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
a search helicopter?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
