I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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