I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize