There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
