i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
