we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dignity is for republicans.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
