Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
