My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
