Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
