he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
