at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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