So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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