i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
