It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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