you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
