This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
