i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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