Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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