do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
