Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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