if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need to stop coming to work sober
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
