Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
