I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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